Twenty Two

Does it make me selfish that I'm making something worse for someone else, so that's it's better for me? I have a problem with distancing myself from people when I know they're going to leave me. When in reality, I should be with them every second because they're leaving me. The truth of it all is that when I left Montreal last spring, I think deep down inside, I knew I would be back in a few months; and what scares me, is that I know you won't. You're there for good, cause you've found someone for good. I'm sorry you feel distant from a lot of people at the moment, but I love you to death and nothing will ever change that. I'm sorry I'm not around as much, but you know me and my method of coping, it's childish, but it's the only thing that will work.

I spent the night at home last night. I'm not even remotely close to kidding when I say I haven't done that in about a month. My dad was working until midnight and my mom is in Vermont, therefore it was the quietest night I've had in awhile. Rae went home until Thursday and Andrew was just as tired as I was. So i did some laundry, showered, cleaned my room, looked for cottages in Cape Cod with Andrew on the phone, scrap booked for a bit the went to bed. All things that I've been meaning to do for a long time.