I've made promises to myself, and I feel as though I've bit off more than I can chew.
People say so many things they don't mean, and I don't understand where it comes from. Truth comes out when you're angry, or at least that is what i believe. At the same time though, I can understand that it's easy to blurb things out when you're mad. It's easy to become jealous, angry or childish even in a lot of every day situations. I've said so many things that I never meant, and I'm still trying to figure out why. What I'm getting down to is, I made a few mistakes in the past with a few friends. I threw them away. It bothers the hell out of me that I'm such an on and off again person with the way I see things. One month I couldn't care less, and the next I focus on just being a good person. Maybe because I just can't change the way I am. I know I'm still growing up, but this is as old as I've ever been. Not everyone is going to be like me. Differences between people IS a good thing. I need to stop expecting so much from people, and I need to stop worrying that I'm not living up to people's expectations of me. I am what I am.
I hate the winter. It brings nothing but endless thoughts that put me in a panic. I went grocery shopping yesterday and as I was walking through the isles, i just stopped and this feeling came over me where I had never felt so alone before. I remember going to do groceries with my mom every morning followed by coffee at Muffins with Baba and Gigi, and now this is what it turned into. There I was, carrying bags I could barely carry and worrying that this is how it will be for the rest of my life. I don't know why this is bothering me so much, but I've actually been down about it lately.
(on another note, I'm happy we're friends again)
People say so many things they don't mean, and I don't understand where it comes from. Truth comes out when you're angry, or at least that is what i believe. At the same time though, I can understand that it's easy to blurb things out when you're mad. It's easy to become jealous, angry or childish even in a lot of every day situations. I've said so many things that I never meant, and I'm still trying to figure out why. What I'm getting down to is, I made a few mistakes in the past with a few friends. I threw them away. It bothers the hell out of me that I'm such an on and off again person with the way I see things. One month I couldn't care less, and the next I focus on just being a good person. Maybe because I just can't change the way I am. I know I'm still growing up, but this is as old as I've ever been. Not everyone is going to be like me. Differences between people IS a good thing. I need to stop expecting so much from people, and I need to stop worrying that I'm not living up to people's expectations of me. I am what I am.
I hate the winter. It brings nothing but endless thoughts that put me in a panic. I went grocery shopping yesterday and as I was walking through the isles, i just stopped and this feeling came over me where I had never felt so alone before. I remember going to do groceries with my mom every morning followed by coffee at Muffins with Baba and Gigi, and now this is what it turned into. There I was, carrying bags I could barely carry and worrying that this is how it will be for the rest of my life. I don't know why this is bothering me so much, but I've actually been down about it lately.
(on another note, I'm happy we're friends again)
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