Thirty Eight

and so sets in the feeling of being stuck somewhere i don't want to be....

i have to start by saying in no way is this me complaining about my job. because i have had worse, and i can have worse, but it was a "take what you can get" job during the peak of my debts and i'm almost in a state of panic that i'm going to be sitting at a desk the rest of my life answering phones and doing what people pawn off on me because they're too lazy to do it themselves. Although i can grow in the company and have already started to do so, I'm just growing into things that i don't even want to do. I don't want to being adding numbers and reconciling accounts. I want to draw, write, be creative. With this job, i'm not even close to any of that. A portion of this panic is slightly due to Morgan's pep talk that i can do much more with my life, and the rest of it is that he's not the first to tell me that.

I'm not getting lazy with work, or thinking of quitting. I still enjoy doing what i do, but i know i can be happy with something else, rather than just settle for it. I do intend on going back to school in the winter, and hopefully this time around something will come out of it. I don't expect to wake up tomorrow and have the best job ever, but i do wish that i'll start to have a little more motivation in my life and the urge to actually get out there and do it.


On a completely unrelated note, the museum is free for the entire fall season. who wants to make it a second home with me?